Fuck. I think I'm in love..again
I really need that right now, though, but I guess I can't really control it.

It's distracting, though, that's all I can say about it. Familiar, too. It's me not paying attention in class again because I'd be thinking of that person, it's me thinking the Chemistry exam is distracting me from thinking about them, instead of things being the other way around, it's me doing friggin EXTREMES in hope of catching a tiny glimps of that person. It's me facebook stalking the fuck out of them, it's me appreciating things I've never given a thought about before, it's me having dreams that revolve around the same thing night after night after night...

And here I am, writing a journal entry about it

It's not sad, though, which is good. It actually makes me feel happy, because that person appreciates me to an extent--but it's a really good extent, so yea

Plus, the emotions arn't as strong as the last time. This time, it's giving me hope instead of taking it away. This time, it's washing away the suicidal thoughts instead of implanting them in my brain, this time, you see me singing after we exchange some sentences, instead of walking away all depressed and angsty--this time, it feels GOOD.

This summer vacation was one of the best, because it washed away all the bad emotions in me, and even though lots of shit happened in the time between then and now, I didn't feel it, because I was really content with where I was. And then this came, and it got me really scared because I thought it would suck me into that pit hole of wasted emotions again, but it didn't--and it feel SO fucking good!

So here I am, perhaps for once in this lifetime, not angst-y anymore